Talking to Our Kids About School Shootings: When Is the Right Time?

As the second day of school in Georgia unfolded, another tragic event left us all grappling with a familiar and overwhelming question: How do we protect our kids? While the world debates the larger changes that need to happen to keep our schools safe, there’s a pressing question we must all face as parents and educators right now: Is it helpful or harmful to talk about school shootings immediately after they happen? What should parents do?

Should we wait? Are we unintentionally creating more trauma by diving into these conversations too soon? Or are we missing an opportunity to comfort our children when they need it most?

These are questions we don’t always have answers to, but what we do know is that community and taking care of ourselves are key during moments like this. We may not have control over what happens in the world, but we do have control over how we manage our own emotions and support our families. It starts with creating space for safety, connection, and comfort—both for ourselves and our children.

I pulled a few impactful practices from the Creative Coping Toolkit our film and evidence-based mental health literacy program you can use these today:

1. Ask, Don't Assume

If your child seems withdrawn or nervous, it’s important not to assume how they’re feeling. Simply ask, “How are you feeling about going to school right now?” Opening this door allows them to share their fears in their own words, rather than you projecting your own worries onto them. Sometimes, they may not feel the way you expect, and that’s okay.

2. Acknowledge Their Fears

It’s natural to want to reassure your child with statements like, "Don’t worry, you’re safe." But for some kids, that might not feel true. Instead, acknowledge their feelings: "I know this is scary, and I’m here with you." You don’t have to have all the answers—just being there and validating their emotions is incredibly powerful.

3. Limit Media Exposure

We all want to stay informed, but watching the news on a loop can create a constant sense of fear. For both you and your kids, it’s okay to step away from the endless updates. Instead, focus on spending time together doing something calming, like playing a game, reading, or taking a walk.

4. Practice Simple Calming Exercises Together

When anxiety runs high, grounding techniques can help both adults and children find calm. Here’s an easy one: The 3 Breaths and 3 Wishes Exercise. Take three deep breaths together. With each breath, ask your child to make a wish—for themselves, their friends, or the world. This not only provides comfort but also shifts their focus to a more positive mindset​.

5. Build a Safe Space at Home

It’s vital to create an environment where your child feels safe. This might mean more family meals together, extra hugs, or even letting them sleep close to you for a few nights. Offer stability and routine in a world that feels unpredictable.

6. Encourage Connection and Community

Isolation can magnify fear, so encourage your child to talk to friends, teachers, or other trusted adults. For yourself, don’t hesitate to lean on other parents, community groups, or mental health professionals. Connection fosters healing.

7. Teach the Power of Positive Action

When your child feels helpless, one of the best things they can do is something that makes them feel in control. Maybe it’s writing a kind note to a friend, or participating in a community event. Small actions can go a long way in building resilience and shifting the focus from fear to hope​​.

Final Thoughts:

It’s okay to not have all the answers right now. As parents and educators, we are all feeling a mix of anger, fear, and helplessness. But it’s in these moments that community and self-care matter most. By offering your child reassurance, practicing calming techniques, and connecting with your own support network, you are helping them—and yourself—navigate this difficult time.

We can’t always control what happens in the world, but we can control how we care for each other. And that begins at home.

To let us know how we can help or demo the CCT click here.